On Being Seen

February, 2024 ~

I’m back in Australia, my heart’s home. The immense and diverse land of this sea-surrounded continent is living, breathing history. I’ve met some of the deepest wisdom here, in First Nations friends and teachers, extraordinary wildlife, and magical landscapes, all existing for thousands and thousands of years. It was a dear Australian friend who introduced me to another friend who teaches freediving in Tonga. So this beloved place is part of the path to my annual retreats with whales. Last month, I began to write about whales as teachers. This month, I’ll share the profound teaching of one whale, who I briefly “met” last summer (2023) in Tonga. I am still impacted by our interaction.

The lovely group who had gathered for my annual Dancing the Wild Home Retreat were all out on a boat together. We’d had some long swims and were enjoying the company of a Momma whale and her little one. Both were curious and interactive, spiraling up around us, passing by to make eye contact, sometimes swimming quite close to say hello. I was in the water with our whale guide when the whale family decided to continue on their way, and I was a bit removed from my group members who were either on or nearer to the boat.  I began to follow our whale guide and swim along with the pair. I paused, realizing they wanted to move along without us, which we all respect. The length and proximity of interaction is always up to the whales. They choose if we interact at all.

As I floated in the water, my gaze turned to the right and the trail of bubbly froth left by the Mom and Babe. Suddenly, I felt something on my left side. It is hard to describe what I felt; it was a BIG presence. An invisible shadow. I immediately turned to look, and no less than 4 feet from my body was a massive, 40+ ton escort. The escorts are usually male (not always), and they rarely interact. They will intervene if humans don’t respect the “times up” cues of a Momma whale, and I have seen one charge someone who blatantly disregarded a Mother’s repeated attempts to disengage. I’ve floated above a few who were slowly rising towards the surface, but they always swam off before they came up to breathe. When I turned towards this magnificent giant, his eye was right next to me. He was gazing into mine. I let go – I ceased moving and let my camera submerge. All I could do was float in the awe of the moment. He slowly, slowly glided by me, very intentionally maintaining my gaze until his pectoral fins and body were beside me. He could have easily knocked me with his fin; but instead he gracefully dropped it so it was vertical alongside him, not extended in the water. He knew I was there and he definitely wanted me to see him.

Unbeknownst to me, the other members of my group were a bit panicked as I had literally appeared to be swallowed by the massive being when he surfaced beside me. It is hard to describe what I felt, but it was not fear. My body suspended in Awe. Grace. Respect. An enormous gratitude for being seen and for seeing; my heart bursting with the energy of reciprocity with one of the world’s most dignified wisdom keepers. There simply are no words for the depth of this exchange.

What was clear to me is that he did intend to communicate RESPECT. Yes, he was likely there to protect the Mom and baby, but I sense that he knew we understood that our playtime was complete. His presence emanated a reciprocity of being seen: I was in his home. His ocean. We humans have not treated the ocean, his home, as we should. We dump and pollute and drain it of its diverse species with cruel profit driven fishing and mining industries. His intentional respectful connection with me was a request for me – us – to RESPECT HIS HOME. The mom and babe’s home. The Tongan Tribe of Humpback Whales home. To assume our role as stewards of this shared earth and help him protect his oceanic community.

There is so much more to say about these times and the critical crossroads we are at in terms of planetary health. Please see the resources I recommend to learn..and do..more.